Love, Quinn
by MademoiselleFantastique
Summary: Beth reads a letter which her birth mother wrote years ago to her.


**A/N:** So, I wrote this letter last night and I want to publish it. Hopefully you like it!

R&R!

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_Dear Beth!_

_Hi... it's me. Quinn. You may know me. Maybe Shelby, your mother, told you about me but perhaps she didn't. If she didn't, then don't be mad at her. It's just as hard as it is for me._

_So, you probably don't know me when you read this letter. Beth, I am your birth mother. I am the woman who gave birth to you. You were raised by a strong woman, your mother Shelby. But I was the one who carried you nine months with me. Well, I guess after all this time Shelby knows what is the best for you. She really loves you, Beth, so I beg you, don't be mad at her._

_Well, I guess you want me to answer some question and that's what I am going to do now. First of all, I can understand when you are now confused and angry at me for giving you away but I beg you to read this letter. I hope you'll understand a little bit of what I am going to tell you now, honey._

_It was hard to let you go, Beth. Not only for me, for your father as well. What I am going to tell you now might be hard to understand and accept but I just want you to know the truth. You deserve this and this is one of the last things I can do for you._

_When you were born, Beth, I was a sophomore at high school. My whole life was a mess at this time - I am going to tell you later why it was such a mess. Anyway, I gave birth to you with sixteen years. At this time, I was a wreck. Not only that my parents had kicked me off of my house and I was forced to live with your father and his family, no I had a lot more problems than that._

_Long before you were born I was the captain of the cheerleading squat, president of the celibacy club and quite popular. I've dated Finn Hudson, the quarterback. You may know him right now 'cause he and your bigger stepsister, Rachel, you may know her as well, married soon after they graduated from high school._

_Well, we were a couple. Finn was a nice guy but... a bit dumb. When I became pregnant I told him it was his child and this one of the biggest mistake I could've make but at this time I was afraid of losing my reputation so I pretended to be pregnant by him. It worked for a long time. But, honestly, he wasn't your father, Beth. I had a one-night-stand with Noah Puckerman, the best friend of Finn._

_Noah is your father._

_Beth, don't think you were a mistake because you weren't! You were a miracle, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! It still breaks my heart when I think about the night we gave you away._

_Anyway, I became pregnant and the child wasn't Finn's, it was Noah's. Honey, you have to know that my parents are Christian and very religious. They wanted me to wait with sex until my marriage and I had sworn to wait! Giving my virginity away when I was drunk was a huge fault and they couldn't respect a pregnant daughter without a husband, so they kicked me out of house._

_At the beginning, I could hide everything. My baby bump and my mad condition. But then everyone found out and I mean everyone. The whole school. Finn and I broke up, the coach kicked me off the cheerios and I had no parents who could have helped me. I was alone, scared and terrified. At this time, Noah was the only light in my shadows. He took me to his family and even though I wasn't allowed to eat bacon 'cause your father is Jewish, he was a nice and gentle young man. Of course his mother wasn't happy to become a grandmother in this situation but she respected it and she wanted me to be with them._

_Shortly before you were born I moved house to Mercedes Jones, a very good friend of mine. She helped me (and she allowed me to eat bacon :)._

_While Finn and I were a couple, everyone thought that Finn's the father. I didn't tell Noah about my pregnancy but Finn did. Of course, they were best friends and he talked to me. Noah wanted to be a good father for you, honey. You have to know that his father let him down and went away when Noah was a young boy and so he always missed a dad in his life but he wanted to be in yours so you could have it better._

_I rejected him, another fault of mine. I was afraid of losing Finn and my reputation. But even though I rejected your father always again, he fought for us! And this was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me._

_Honestly, your father and I became a couple shortly before you were born. But after all, he wasn't the guy I always wanted to have. He was... how can I describe it so you can understand? Well, he was a quite nice guy and very gentle and yeah... but he was a sex god. He only thought of that and women, when we were a couple I didn't matter; only you were important to him. I can understand that because I was the one who always rejected him so I had no expectations! But please, darling, don't judge him, he always wanted to be in your life and see how you grow up._

_Then was there the night of your birth. I was in Glee Club and we just had lost the competition. My mother was there and begged me to forgive her. She told me she had left my father 'cause he had cheated on her. I agreed and moved house._

_Just in this moment my water broke and you were on your way. The pains were horrible, I still remember that but when I saw you, all was blown away. You were an amazing, pretty, little; innocent baby and I immediately fell in love with you._

_Beth, I'd love to keep you, you have to believe me but I couldn't. Something in me screamed I wasn't a good mother and I knew that it was true. With sixteen years you aren't mean to give birth to a baby but I did and I had fear because I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to keep you but I didn't want to give you away as well. I couldn't be the mother you deserved, Beth._

_I asked Noah if he wanted to keep you. If he had said 'Yes', I had agreed. But he didn't say anything; it was just a hard decision for him._

_And then there was suddenly Shelby Concannon. The woman who gave birth to Rachel, your bigger stepsister. She asked us which baby were ours but before we could answer she saw you. "She looks just like you", I remember those words as they were mine. Shelby and everyone else said that and honestly, I could recognize myself in you. Weak but strong. Little but perfect._

_Beth, don't think that all of this was your fault, sweetheart. It was mine 'cause I did all of those things! But I am proud to have you in the world, Beth; you were the greatest thing that ever happened to us - to your father and me. You were perfect and I regret every day I cannot spend with you._

_I know that I made a massive fault and I understand if you don't want to see me ever. But if you want to know something about me then ask your mother about me. Perhaps she or Rachel will tell you who I am and what I did. Maybe they can help you to find me so we can someday see each other. I'd love to meet you, Beth. I'd love to see how you look now, if you have more of me or more of your father. And I'd love to see my little baby girl. The baby girl I was forced to give away. I couldn't even say goodbye, Beth, but that is what I am going to do now. I'm setting you free and you can think about meeting me someday, I won't force you to anything. You just need to know that I love you. More than I ever thought I could love someone. _

_And if you want to know something about your father, then ask Rachel or Finn, they will tell you something about him. I'm sure._

_Love,_

_Quinn, your mother._

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Reviews? :)


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